If Gilbert Were Gay
by InzanityFirez
Summary: After being caught red-handed with Break by his precious young master, Gilbert is certain his life is over...until Oz knocks some sense into him.  Friendship fic XD


**Inspired by the song 'If You Were Gay' by Avenue Q. Very catchy. XD P.S. 'flagrante delicto' is basically 'blazing offense' It was used to describe being caught engaged in certain…well, activities. That I will not be going into because this is a T-rated fic and that stuff makes me blush. XD **

Golden eyes stared in horror at the wide emerald eyes gazing back at him. Gilbert could feel his face warming and was certain he'd rival a cherry for sheer redness at the moment. "O-Oz-" he stammered, quickly jerking a blanket over himself and his partner.

"Oz-kun?" drawled Break beside Gilbert, not seeming bothered at all by the fact that he and Gilbert had been caught in flagrante delicto. "Aren't you and Miss Alice supposed to be visiting Oscar-sama today?" he queried, smiling calmly.

Oz stared at the albino man a moment, mouth opening and closing as it form words but not able to do so.

"Oz.." Gilbert started to step out of the bed, towards Oz with a sheet around his waist but the moment his feet touched ground, Oz bolted from the room. "Oz!" the door was slammed shut behind him and Gilbert's expression became miserable as he slid down to the ground, back against the bed. He lifted his hands to his face and buried it there, feeling the hot sting of tears in his eyes. Now he'd gone and done it, he'd ruined everything had he? Gilbert supposed that even as an adult, he'd still be the same little Gilbert to Oz, but having been caught like this…that fantasy was surely shattered. And furthermore, to have been caught with a man, Break of all people… "My life is over…" he moaned.

"Gil-kun…" Break murmured, rising to lean over the bed and press a kiss to the side of Gilbert's head, uncannily aware of his surroundings even blind. "I imagine that this was…startling to a boy…but I hardly think your life is over, mmm? You should go to him though, before he over thinks things as usual, right?"

Gilbert considered that before shaking his head, flushing. "I can't face him like this! To be caught this way…I'm the worst servant in the world." he moaned again.

"Gil-kun-" Break said warmly, smiling brightly before he slammed a fist against Gilbert's head.

"Ow! What the Hell?" Gilbert glared at the older man.

"You'll have to face him sometime, you can't protect him hiding from him for the rest of your life, can you?" Gilbert scrunched his nose, knowing that it was true. "Go and talk to him, I'm sure he's less worried than you think…" Break said with a knowing smile.

Gilbert frowned at the other before he sighed. "Fine…" he paused before leaning over to kiss Break's lips softly. "Break-"

"Just go, alright, Gil-kun?" another bright smile.

Gilbert stared at the other a moment, lifting a hand to gently brush the hair from Break's face before he rose with a nod. "Alright…"

Twenty minutes later, cleaned up and fully dressed, Gilbert began hunting for his master.

His room? No. The parlor? No. The kitchen? No. Usual hiding spots? No. Where could he be?

"He's outside." came a quiet, somewhat sullen voice from behind him.

Gilbert turned to find Alice, arms crossed and leaning against the door. "What?"

"Oz. He's outside. He asked me to leave him alone. It's your fault, right? Stupid seaweed head." she grumbled.

Gilbert blinked. "Why are-"

"Just go already!" Alice shouted, storming out of the room.

Gilbert didn't understand females, certain not female Chains, but he didn't need to be told twice as he headed outside and sure enough, found Oz…in _that_ place.

"_But isn't he your precious son?" _

"_That thing? He should never have been born…" _

Oz stood silent in the little courtyard walkway, staring up at the sky when the crunch of a stick signaled Gilbert's approach and his gaze tilted to his servant, expression unreadable. For a moment, golden and emerald eyes held each other fast before Oz spoke softly. "Remember this place, Gil? We found out that day...but it was okay, because Gil was with me.." he murmured.

"Oz…I-"

"So you're gay?" Oz said, without expression.

Gilbert stilled, eyes widening slightly. "I-um-well-that is-I-…yes?" he stammered, clenching his fists as he stared down at the ground with a dark flush.

"You like boys?" Oz queried, seeing Gilbert's flush darken almost alarmingly.

"Not-that is-men. Other men…I…" Gilbert fell silent, seeing Oz look away. Was Oz disappointed? He couldn't tell, and that wouldn't make sense…he loved his master dearly, but as one would love a brother and a master not romantically…Oz didn't have those feeling for him, did he?

Oz tilted his gaze back to Gilbert. "So you want to be a girl?"

Gilbert's jaw dropped before he stammered in a sudden shout. "O-Of course not! I'm a man! I want to be! Not a…I don't-" he slowed as he saw Oz chuckling. "Oz…?"

Oz's chuckling stopped and a faint smile curved his lips, something bittersweet. "So Gil and Break…are a couple?"

"…Yes.." Gilbert said softly.

"Do you love him?" Oz queried, tilting his head.

"I-..I…Oz that question is-" Gilbert scratched at his head, face flaming as he stared down at the ground. There was silence for a long moment before Gilbert had to ask. "Are you…disgusted by me now…Oz..? To have seen me like that…and with…a man.."

A sudden slap to his head startled him, and he was surprised to find Oz standing right in front of him now, giving him a cool expression. "Are you Gilbert?" he asked.

Gilbert blinked. "I-yes…"

"Do you want to be a girl?"

A flush. "Of course not! I told you already I-" he was cut off.

"Do you wish to protect me and serve me always?"

Gilbert's expression softened as he spoke. "Yes…of course I do, Oz…"

"So nothing's changed?" Oz asked, staring up at the other intently.

"Well…no…but-"

"Then what's the problem?" Oz rolled his eyes. "Didn't we go through this already? Even if things change, like you getting taller, or you wanting to be a girl-"

"I do not-" a hand covered Gilbert's mouth.

"-or even if you like other men…Gil is still Gil. My cherished Gil." Oz smiled up at the other, seeing the astonishment in Gilbert's gaze.

They were silent a moment before Gilbert reached his hand up and closed it around Oz's, holding it tightly as he lowered it. "So…it's…okay?"

Oz lifted a brow and then smiled. "Of course it is, Gil! If it makes Gil happy, then it makes me happy."

Gilbert's eyes widened before he chuckled lightly and released the other's hand "Thanks, Oz…"

Oz smiled up at his servant before he smirked mischievously. "So…from now on, maybe Gil should wear a dress. You'd look adorable! And I bet Break would like that! He's got such funny taste in clothes. But then again, maybe you don't need clothes if you're going to be going to bed together like that-" a hand clamped over Oz's mouth as a once again crimson-faced Gilbert pulled his master against him, silencing him.

From beneath his hand, Oz simply laughed and slid out of his grasp. "Gil likes boys, Gil likes boys!" he taunted, laughing as Gilbert winced.

"Oz…you-"

Oz suddenly stood on tiptoe and kissed Gilbert's cheek. The raven-haired man froze, staring down at Oz in shock. Oz grinned. "Aww, Gil's so cute when he blushes like a giiiiirrrrllll."

Gilbert winced. The kiss wasn't romantic at all, it was just another way for Oz to tease him, to torment Gilbert, and he had a feeling that this was going to open many such opportunities for Oz…but that was okay. Oz forgave him, like always, he was still Oz's treasured servant and Oz his precious master…

"Giiiirly Gil~" Oz chimed, laughing and Gilbert sighed even as he smiled. Precious little brat of a master, that was for sure.


End file.
